The Bigger Picture

December 6, 2015

My Devotion

My Heart

The Bigger Picture

Teresa Jenkins

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,  “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek Me and find Me when you seek me with all you heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

In my life I have seen God at work in spite of my sinful nature.  In my latest struggle I cannot see what He is doing, but because of what I know He has done in the past I know that He is doing something that only He can do. 

Last night at dinner with some friends we were talking about family and how her mom and dad moved from Arkansas to California and her oldest sister was born there, they bought a house and settled down to build their life together.  Then family “needed” her dad to come back to help with the family farm.  What appeared to be a want more than a need from the family, just might have been God’s hand things and people into place so that things and people (members of family) could be born.  If they had stayed in California how different life would have been and some people in her family would not have existed at all.

I was reminded of the time God revealed that truth to me as well.  When my oldest son was graduating from Texas A&M University.  As I sat next to the rafters in the basketball arena looking down at a court covered with caps and gowns I was feeling very proud and sad at the same time.  As we waited for the ceremony to begin I was looking at my family sitting all on one row laughing and talking and enjoying the day.  My heart was weary from the shame of being a single mom because of divorce.  An ugly thing that I never ever wanted to have done.  I looked to my left and the seat next to me was empty.  In my thoughts God spoke to my heart and said, "Teresa look back over these 20+ years, every time you went to a ballgame, a play, a concert, or a ceremony anything and everything your child was involved in there was “an empty seat” next to you.  It was not empty because I, (your Husband), your Father, and your closest companion was sitting right there next to you, cheering him and his brothers just like you.  That young man would not be exactly where he is, on that basketball court about to receive a degree from one of the most prestigious universities in the country, in this moment if your life had not gone exactly as it did.

Whether God planned all the things in my life to happen exactly as they did or that He worked everything out that I messed up for the good, I do not know.  That detail is not important to me.  What I learned that day taught me that no matter what God does have a plan whether we mess up or not, He already knows and has everything under control. 

Yesterday I cried out to God in my pain, in my frustration, and in my fear and He led me to acknowledge who He is.  Just as my son was a speck on the floor of that arena with the hundreds of other graduates and from my perspective could barely see Him, we too are just a speck in the grand scheme of things.  Still, we are so important to God that He is all up in every detail of our lives.

I’m here to tell you I do not have a clue as to what is going on or what I’m doing.  Friday I was so emotionally exhausted from the massive struggle to do my job and instead of it getting easier through the weeks when I begin to get a grip on it more obstacles are thrown in the mix.  I confess I have always struggled with the process of things, I really like to know what’s coming and how it’s going to end.  I never know all the details even when it’s over, but at the end such as the moment my son graduated, God gives me a glimpse of what He was doing all along and why.

Jesus told us that even the very hairs of our head are numbered.  (Ok, I just “googled” that thinking surely someone has investigated it) The average number of hairs on a human head, average being a guess, not exact, is from 100,000 to 200,000 hairs.  Jesus said, “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid.”  Luke 12:7

This means He knows the exact number at any given time of our life how many there are that is a microscopic detail that we don’t even think about until it starts falling out never to grow again.  So why can’t we see that God knows everything else about us and is always at work in us and for us.  We are like a grain of dust in the wind and God not only knows us, He loves us so much He made a plan, an individual life plan for each and every one of us.

Yesterday my heart wanted to cry out in my anguish, my frustration, and my anger, but I couldn’t not that He could not handle my tantrum fit, He could and He would because I had done that the night before. The Comforter came to me yesterday and interceded.  The events of my life once again had brought me to the feet of Jesus and even though I still don’t know what the bigger picture looks like, what the purpose is, or even the outcome, I do know without a doubt that God knows and holds me with all my struggles and problems are in His hand.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there you hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.  Psalm 139:9-10

The big picture is not at all about you or me, and our part, though it is the smallest of the small, is crucial to God’s plan, if it were not He would not have placed or moved people and things exactly as they needed to be for us to exist and be a part of the plans that He has for others.  All of it is to the glory and honor and love of God.